We had to have a pow-wow. I couldn’t take it anymore. Enough was enough. If you read my last post, you know what I mean. I had to handle this foolishness. But instead of approaching the situation like I usually do (some eyebrow raising & a little fussing), I decided to take a much different approach.
I went corporate on their butts.
Yup. I called them into my office. Asked them to have a seat. Pulled out a notepad & pen. And then I began.
Hello. I am giving you a performance review & evaluation today. My job as your mother is to not only train you & love you, but to supervise you and review your performance to make sure you’re aware of the expectations, meeting those expectations and ultimately equipped to complete the tasks ahead successfully. I’ve done a self evaluation & come to the conclusion that I have not been doing a good job lately. I’m here to remedy that. Let’s begin with a few questions.
*By this time the boys’ eyes are looking like martians landed IN OUR HOUSE. It took all I had not to bust out laughing. But I had to stay the course. They had to get the full consult.
- What should you do be doing on a daily basis? (they say their respective chores & responsibilities-and leave out a lot)
- Anything else? (they list more-and still leave out some)
- Are you currently taking care of those responsibilities?
- Are those tasks complete? (no-which means they’re NOT COMPLETE!!!)
- What do you need to complete the tasks? (nothing, they say)
- Is there anything you need to complete the tasks? (no-one gets suspicious because he realizes that I’ve asked the same question twice. He knows he’s in BIG trouble. The other is still oblivious)
So, it gets ugly. We put all the cards on the table. I put out the big dogs. “If your father & I died, who is going to take care of everything?” “If you can’t support your caregiver, what kind of person are you?” “When you undermine those who are taking care of you, you’re shooting yourself in the foot.” “What do you really gain by being lazy?” “When you practice being lazy/a bully/disrespectful you get good at it.” “Break bad habits before bad habits break you.” “Us saying yes or no to what you want is based not on our love for you or your siblings, but on what God says and what the family needs.”
You know, that kind of stuff. They didn’t agree with every topic we discussed & I’m ok with that. I needed them to know that. It’s ok to disagree, but there’s always more going on that they don’t know about or fully understand. We talked about bills, wants & needs, the calling on their lives & love. At the end, it was better. I know they will need another talk. Oh, it’s coming. We’re going to get down & dirty. We’re pulling out the bill list and some play money. They’re about to get the Theo Huxtable lesson on life & economics! They also had to know about the sacrifices that were made for them. They also had to be shown that they must use the opportunities that God has blessed them with to get some of the material things they want.
Overall it went very well. The attitude was gone. Now they’re on algebra apps & prepping for STEM camp. I’m keeping a watchful eye & praying I remain diligent & consistent.
My husband & I love to talk to our kids. We want them to UNDERSTAND things. Not just take orders & figure out what it all means later when they’re on their own. That’s not our method. We’re going to let our kids know what’s up & let them know they’re loved. Most of all, we’re going to let them know to fully rely on God. If we don’t do anything else, we must let them know that He is the one who provides, protects & loves them most of all. They’ll be ok. God has them in His hand (which is much bigger than mine!) and I trust Him.